This date above summarizes a lot of things. Although it might seem to be some other ordinary day to many, it actually harboured some deep memories for the 74/08 batch of Officer Cadets, now Officers of the Singapore Armed Forces. Exactly a year ago, this new batch of Privates who just got passed out from their Basic Military Training reported to the prestigious Officer Cadet School to be trained.
Words won't describe how these people feel and what they went through then. To be commissioned is the only thing that make sense to them. Charlie Wing, Hotel Wing and Tango Wing. Their fate were resigned to whichever Wing they were posted to.
As a person who have went through that stage, I can say that the mental torture, the physical endurance they had to undergo is really hard to understand unless you went through it yourself. But yet, not everyone will finish it. From Delta wing, nearly 5 people went out of course during the first few days of training. It was hell. It was torturous.
The best stayed, the strong persevered. New goals were reached, the impossible became possible. New friendship were forged which will last for a lifetime.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
It's not easy...
It has been close to two months since I commissioned on the 12th September 2009. Within this relatively short period of appointment as a Second Lieutenant in the army, I have already encountered a lot and experienced a couple of critical situations that not many newly commissioned Officers normally get to face. Really really a lot that is way beyond my expectations and they have left me in deep thoughts and reflections about what true leadership in a military context is all about.
For people who aspire to be a future Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces, I would like to urge you to think again, and seriously asked and questioned yourself if you are prepared to shoulder the responsibility that will be entrusted upon you. Why do you want to be an Officer in the first place? For pride? For honour? For country? Or is it you wanted to torture your man, inflicting the physical pain to them just like how you were being treated when you were a recruit back in BMT? I have heard many people saying that they want to be an officer, so they can inspire and influence their man for a positive change. But how realistic is that? Are your values anchored deep enough for you to change and influence others?
Life as an Officer is not as easy as many people have thought it is. This is a fact and we have to learn to accept it. Right from the very day you commissioned and throw the peak cap, you have joined the ranks of the officer corps and many people will expect you to make things happen; and not just wait for things to happen, or worse, not even know what happened.
Every single decisions make and every actions that you take bear great responsibility which you as an officer must have the courage to bear, but bear in mind that many times, not making a decision is in itself the wrong decision, and no action is in itself the wrong action. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Frankly speaking, all these deep reflections came after coming back from my second SOCJOT trip in Brunei where I personally encountered a close brush with death and experienced the ultimate true test of military leadership. To that, I really have to thank God that I managed to survive this ordeal, bringing out all my Cadets safely, leaving no man behind. Maybe outsiders who read this will not believe in what I state, but this life and death experience is one incident that I will remember deeply for many years to come. Even if I want to forget about it, the flashes of memories will still haunt me in my dreams.
Like what I have mentioned in the previous post, Officership is not just about getting a nice rank to wear on your chest, about getting paid more than most NSFs, about making your parents and loved ones proud. Officership is about serving at an entirely different capacity. The Armed Forces Council has reposed special trust and confidence in your loyalty, courage and good conduct, appointed you as an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces. You will loyally and diligently discharge your duty and honourably at ALL times.
Upon commissioned, you really have to find your own conviction and clarity. Earn the respect from your men, and not command the respect from them. In fact, I am still in search of my clarity of purpose too..
I have made the Officer Creed my guiding light and it have really given me the strength and courage to place the safety of my Cadets before mine. To people who have heard my encounter, the Officer Creed is the reason for my act. Definitely, I am not being stupid for risking my life to save the rest. I have my family too, but the Rank Insignia that I have worn had reminded me that the parents of my Cadets have entrusted their life of their sons in my hands and I have to be responsible for them.
I am an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.
My duty is to lead, to excel and to overcome.
I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training, morale and discipline.
I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with pride, honour and integrity.
I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination.
I dedicate my life to Singapore.
I recite this creed with my heart and I am committed to live by it. Within this two years of National Service as an Artillery Officer, I promise to do my best to uphold them.
Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow. Sometimes we must fail in order to know. Sometimes we must lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life are best learned through pain. After all this, at least I am sure that I have emerged stronger and learned to treasure the people I love...
For people who aspire to be a future Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces, I would like to urge you to think again, and seriously asked and questioned yourself if you are prepared to shoulder the responsibility that will be entrusted upon you. Why do you want to be an Officer in the first place? For pride? For honour? For country? Or is it you wanted to torture your man, inflicting the physical pain to them just like how you were being treated when you were a recruit back in BMT? I have heard many people saying that they want to be an officer, so they can inspire and influence their man for a positive change. But how realistic is that? Are your values anchored deep enough for you to change and influence others?
Life as an Officer is not as easy as many people have thought it is. This is a fact and we have to learn to accept it. Right from the very day you commissioned and throw the peak cap, you have joined the ranks of the officer corps and many people will expect you to make things happen; and not just wait for things to happen, or worse, not even know what happened.
Every single decisions make and every actions that you take bear great responsibility which you as an officer must have the courage to bear, but bear in mind that many times, not making a decision is in itself the wrong decision, and no action is in itself the wrong action. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Frankly speaking, all these deep reflections came after coming back from my second SOCJOT trip in Brunei where I personally encountered a close brush with death and experienced the ultimate true test of military leadership. To that, I really have to thank God that I managed to survive this ordeal, bringing out all my Cadets safely, leaving no man behind. Maybe outsiders who read this will not believe in what I state, but this life and death experience is one incident that I will remember deeply for many years to come. Even if I want to forget about it, the flashes of memories will still haunt me in my dreams.
Like what I have mentioned in the previous post, Officership is not just about getting a nice rank to wear on your chest, about getting paid more than most NSFs, about making your parents and loved ones proud. Officership is about serving at an entirely different capacity. The Armed Forces Council has reposed special trust and confidence in your loyalty, courage and good conduct, appointed you as an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces. You will loyally and diligently discharge your duty and honourably at ALL times.
Upon commissioned, you really have to find your own conviction and clarity. Earn the respect from your men, and not command the respect from them. In fact, I am still in search of my clarity of purpose too..
I have made the Officer Creed my guiding light and it have really given me the strength and courage to place the safety of my Cadets before mine. To people who have heard my encounter, the Officer Creed is the reason for my act. Definitely, I am not being stupid for risking my life to save the rest. I have my family too, but the Rank Insignia that I have worn had reminded me that the parents of my Cadets have entrusted their life of their sons in my hands and I have to be responsible for them.
I am an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.
My duty is to lead, to excel and to overcome.
I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training, morale and discipline.
I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with pride, honour and integrity.
I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination.
I dedicate my life to Singapore.
I recite this creed with my heart and I am committed to live by it. Within this two years of National Service as an Artillery Officer, I promise to do my best to uphold them.
Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow. Sometimes we must fail in order to know. Sometimes we must lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life are best learned through pain. After all this, at least I am sure that I have emerged stronger and learned to treasure the people I love...
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
What Lies Ahead?
For those who have been keeping track of my recent status, I believe you guys should have realised by now that I have already ended the chapter of my life in OCS and have already been commissioned as a Second Lieutenant on 12 September 2009 in SAFTI Military Institute.
That day was indeed a big day for the 293 Officer Cadets. An evening which marks the final rite of passage to becoming an Officer. An evening of glory and an evening when we see our hardwork pay off. Upon the eyes of our families and friends, the hard-earned rank insignia of an Officer was donned. Wearing the Army Number One Uniform was probably the most smartest and proudest moment in my life till today.
74/08 Officer Cadet Course Commissioning Parade. A day which had seemed so hard to reach nine months ago...and after nine months of intensive training, there we were, standing in the Parade Square... The most beautiful moment of my life I would say...Come to think of it, I really cannot believe myself that I have made it through this ordeal. A long journey indeed...From the hell-like Delta Wing to the Model Tango Wing and then to Artillery Institute. I have really seen a lot and I guess such experience are not easily gained anywhere else in the civilian world.
In that nine full months living as the lowest life-form in the army, when my goal is only marked at the Commissioning Day, I have really come across lots of different people. The fake, the backstabbers and of course, the gossipers. People say that BMT is the place where boys turn to men. Indeed. But I would say that OCS is the place where men turn to real men of honour, real men of pride. Looking back at the good old cadet days, I think I am really missing the company of the bunch of good friends that I have made in this nine months of training. Really true friends that I will treasure for life.
We had fought this tough battle together, persevered together and suffered together. We had seen one another more than we had seen our families and girlfriends. And more importantly, we have done many crazy things together that we will never ever do when we are outside. Thank you guys for the friendship. I acknowledge all the help that I have received thus far.
For the parade itself, it was really quite an emotional for me because I have got all the flashbacks of the pain and suffering that I have been through. The thought knowing that we might not be able to see our fellow comrades as often, as we part into our several posting, made many of us really sad. My life as a cadet has seriously made me understand that 'you don’t work for yourself but the one beside you as well.' At the final moment of the parade, I almost couldn’t hold back my tears of joy especially when I threw my peak cap up high and really jump for joy. In fact, I did not even bother to throw my jockey cap then when I passed out from BMT. The feeling is really different.
Behind all the nice photos that had been placed or tagged in Facebook, not many people would have really understood the amount of pain that every single commissioned Officer had gone through, the amount of perspiration that we had sweated and the amount of tears that we had shed. Along the way, we have witnessed a couple of our fellow coursemates got out-of-course due to injuries sustained or even poor performances and it is really bitter to see them leave the course and probably be looked down upon by others who think that they have failed the course. The extend of gratitude we should show to express our heartfelt thanks to our loved ones is really unmeasurable...
Officership is not just about getting a nice rank to wear on your chest, about getting paid more than most NSFs, about making your parents and loved ones proud. It is not just about leading men, and not just bearing responsibility. Officership is about serving at an entirely different capacity.
TO LEAD I DARE, TO EXCEL I WILL, TO OVERCOME I MUST. This is the true meaning of Officership.
Army Appointment Certificate Presentation Ceremony is over. The long awaited Commissioning Parade is over. Commissioning Ball in Marina Mandarin Hotel is over and our short Commissioning Holiday Phuket trip is over as well... All these events will be something that I will remember clearly for the years to come. What really lies ahead? Yes, I am an Officer now, but what kind of officer will I be?
Indeed. I would really want to take this opportunity to thank those who have chosen to believe in me for the past nine months. Those who have once sent me their well wishes, those who have once prayed for me, those who have walked this journey with me. Without your belief, without your motivation, without your encouragement and without your company, I would not have been able to stand in the SAFTI Parade Square in my No. 1 uniform to enjoy the proud moment when the Peak Cap is thrown.
Thank you Weijie and Edmund for taking time down to see the parade. I really appreciate your presence in this gradaution parade that I have been longing for.
'Hey take care in ocs. Do your best. Others can do it and so can you. If you are emo juz sms or call me haha.' This is the short message that was sent to me by Tian Hui on the first day I stepped into SAFTI to begin on my Officership journey. Dated 22 December 2008, 0853hrs, it was ultimately the very first well-wishes that I relied on... I really acknowledge him for that.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'I am only human. I need love as much as others do and I admit that I have been longing for a hug, a kiss, a meal with sweetness and laughters, but yet I feel I am not prepared for all these. I so fear one wrong move and all is gone. It is so much easier to love than be loved, but it is so much easier to keep being loved than just to love.
If only time can turn back, I would have taken a different path. Was it really a curse seeing things start to turn out so differently everytime I knew. When the light starts to fade. I am so unclear of my path now. I feel so unsafe taking a step forward. The confidence to take risks is no longer there'
That day was indeed a big day for the 293 Officer Cadets. An evening which marks the final rite of passage to becoming an Officer. An evening of glory and an evening when we see our hardwork pay off. Upon the eyes of our families and friends, the hard-earned rank insignia of an Officer was donned. Wearing the Army Number One Uniform was probably the most smartest and proudest moment in my life till today.
74/08 Officer Cadet Course Commissioning Parade. A day which had seemed so hard to reach nine months ago...and after nine months of intensive training, there we were, standing in the Parade Square... The most beautiful moment of my life I would say...Come to think of it, I really cannot believe myself that I have made it through this ordeal. A long journey indeed...From the hell-like Delta Wing to the Model Tango Wing and then to Artillery Institute. I have really seen a lot and I guess such experience are not easily gained anywhere else in the civilian world.
In that nine full months living as the lowest life-form in the army, when my goal is only marked at the Commissioning Day, I have really come across lots of different people. The fake, the backstabbers and of course, the gossipers. People say that BMT is the place where boys turn to men. Indeed. But I would say that OCS is the place where men turn to real men of honour, real men of pride. Looking back at the good old cadet days, I think I am really missing the company of the bunch of good friends that I have made in this nine months of training. Really true friends that I will treasure for life.
We had fought this tough battle together, persevered together and suffered together. We had seen one another more than we had seen our families and girlfriends. And more importantly, we have done many crazy things together that we will never ever do when we are outside. Thank you guys for the friendship. I acknowledge all the help that I have received thus far.
For the parade itself, it was really quite an emotional for me because I have got all the flashbacks of the pain and suffering that I have been through. The thought knowing that we might not be able to see our fellow comrades as often, as we part into our several posting, made many of us really sad. My life as a cadet has seriously made me understand that 'you don’t work for yourself but the one beside you as well.' At the final moment of the parade, I almost couldn’t hold back my tears of joy especially when I threw my peak cap up high and really jump for joy. In fact, I did not even bother to throw my jockey cap then when I passed out from BMT. The feeling is really different.
Behind all the nice photos that had been placed or tagged in Facebook, not many people would have really understood the amount of pain that every single commissioned Officer had gone through, the amount of perspiration that we had sweated and the amount of tears that we had shed. Along the way, we have witnessed a couple of our fellow coursemates got out-of-course due to injuries sustained or even poor performances and it is really bitter to see them leave the course and probably be looked down upon by others who think that they have failed the course. The extend of gratitude we should show to express our heartfelt thanks to our loved ones is really unmeasurable...
Officership is not just about getting a nice rank to wear on your chest, about getting paid more than most NSFs, about making your parents and loved ones proud. It is not just about leading men, and not just bearing responsibility. Officership is about serving at an entirely different capacity.
TO LEAD I DARE, TO EXCEL I WILL, TO OVERCOME I MUST. This is the true meaning of Officership.
Army Appointment Certificate Presentation Ceremony is over. The long awaited Commissioning Parade is over. Commissioning Ball in Marina Mandarin Hotel is over and our short Commissioning Holiday Phuket trip is over as well... All these events will be something that I will remember clearly for the years to come. What really lies ahead? Yes, I am an Officer now, but what kind of officer will I be?
Indeed. I would really want to take this opportunity to thank those who have chosen to believe in me for the past nine months. Those who have once sent me their well wishes, those who have once prayed for me, those who have walked this journey with me. Without your belief, without your motivation, without your encouragement and without your company, I would not have been able to stand in the SAFTI Parade Square in my No. 1 uniform to enjoy the proud moment when the Peak Cap is thrown.
Thank you Weijie and Edmund for taking time down to see the parade. I really appreciate your presence in this gradaution parade that I have been longing for.
'Hey take care in ocs. Do your best. Others can do it and so can you. If you are emo juz sms or call me haha.' This is the short message that was sent to me by Tian Hui on the first day I stepped into SAFTI to begin on my Officership journey. Dated 22 December 2008, 0853hrs, it was ultimately the very first well-wishes that I relied on... I really acknowledge him for that.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'I am only human. I need love as much as others do and I admit that I have been longing for a hug, a kiss, a meal with sweetness and laughters, but yet I feel I am not prepared for all these. I so fear one wrong move and all is gone. It is so much easier to love than be loved, but it is so much easier to keep being loved than just to love.
If only time can turn back, I would have taken a different path. Was it really a curse seeing things start to turn out so differently everytime I knew. When the light starts to fade. I am so unclear of my path now. I feel so unsafe taking a step forward. The confidence to take risks is no longer there'
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Joint Term
The longest 9 months of my life is finally coming to an end! 12 September 2009. The day which sees the 74/08 Officer Cadet Course commission.
Just 13 more days to go!
No more painful memories. No more disappointments!
Just 13 more days to go!
No more painful memories. No more disappointments!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Faith
What is the purpose behind the sword?
Is responsibility that important to the extent that I live for others and screwing up mine?
I just feel so out of the world. I know it doesn't seem quite appropriate to ask this question at this point when I have almost endured through the 38-weeks long of Officership training leaving with only 7 more weeks to go... But every night as I fall back onto the bed to rest for the day, I have been questioning myself, doubting if all the sacrifaces that I have made to earn the sword is worth it all...
Just the day before, I have completed yet another 24km route-march right after a 10km CSB run in 48 minutes and what I have benefited from it all was truly nothing else but more muscle aches, blisters and pain...What exactly is the pride or honour that everyone is talking about? How far will they bring me even after the two years of service?
Almost every other week, I have been booking out, returning home with certain extent of injuries or pain sustained during training and in view of that, my family have been asking me to give up on this tough officership training that I am going through. I know they really concern and care a lot about me, but all that I can tell them is that I want to make the best out of everything that I am doing. At least, that is a principle I want to live up to.
However, in the journey of earning the prestige, I have unintentionally hurt them in many ways. My words, my actions, my thoughts... Maybe, not just only them, but many of my close friends as well.
I really don't know why I am working so hard for...ultimately, it is just two plain years of National Service... Everything around me is getting screwed up and my motivation to push on is no longer there. I am really disappointed. Very very disappointed indeed, and I hope I can get out of this cruel place to somewhere where life is filled with hopes and where people are not selfish creatures who only care about themselves. This world that I am living in now is never that beautiful as I have thought...
It is more than just emo-ing... more than just breaking down... It is almost depression.
Life is unfair...
Is responsibility that important to the extent that I live for others and screwing up mine?
I just feel so out of the world. I know it doesn't seem quite appropriate to ask this question at this point when I have almost endured through the 38-weeks long of Officership training leaving with only 7 more weeks to go... But every night as I fall back onto the bed to rest for the day, I have been questioning myself, doubting if all the sacrifaces that I have made to earn the sword is worth it all...
Just the day before, I have completed yet another 24km route-march right after a 10km CSB run in 48 minutes and what I have benefited from it all was truly nothing else but more muscle aches, blisters and pain...What exactly is the pride or honour that everyone is talking about? How far will they bring me even after the two years of service?
Almost every other week, I have been booking out, returning home with certain extent of injuries or pain sustained during training and in view of that, my family have been asking me to give up on this tough officership training that I am going through. I know they really concern and care a lot about me, but all that I can tell them is that I want to make the best out of everything that I am doing. At least, that is a principle I want to live up to.
However, in the journey of earning the prestige, I have unintentionally hurt them in many ways. My words, my actions, my thoughts... Maybe, not just only them, but many of my close friends as well.
I really don't know why I am working so hard for...ultimately, it is just two plain years of National Service... Everything around me is getting screwed up and my motivation to push on is no longer there. I am really disappointed. Very very disappointed indeed, and I hope I can get out of this cruel place to somewhere where life is filled with hopes and where people are not selfish creatures who only care about themselves. This world that I am living in now is never that beautiful as I have thought...
It is more than just emo-ing... more than just breaking down... It is almost depression.
Life is unfair...
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